Thursday, March 10, 2011

Poop

Ah, such a lovely topic, don't you think? If you are a parent or friends with someone with kids you will understand this post. If you are not, you may want to skip this one.

Nearly every mom (and I only single out moms b/c I don't have many dad friends) I know has said at one point or another "I never thought I'd talk about poop so much and then (insert child's name) was born." It's true in my case. I've talked more about poop since becoming a mom than I ever imagined I would, more than I ever wanted to and more than I ever care to again.

From conception poop becomes a topic, esp. to the pregnant mom. Lots of moms deal with constipation while pregnant. At this point though, I don't remember talking about it with all my friends. I think poop was still a "private" thing.

Next up comes thoughts about labor and delivery. Nearly everywhere you turn someone tells you that you will most likely poop on the delivery table. They chuckle and then tell you it's not a big deal and the nurses are prepared for it, etc. I was mortified at the thought. I ended up with two c-sections so my fears were never realized, phew.

As the birth comes near your doctor prepares you for things that might go wrong. One of those is that the baby might have had it's first bowel movement in utero. More poop.

After the baby is born they make you track how many times the baby pees and, you got it, poops. Seriously, are you sensing a theme yet? From here on out it's all about the kids poop. What color is it? How much is there? What consistency is it? How often do they do it? I learned more about poop than I though existed.

My friends and I talk about poop. We compare stories about our kids, we ask each other questions when we are concerned, and we laugh about poop stories. Sometimes I wonder if we ever really grew up at all. Poop still makes us giggle.

In my house we've moved beyond poop, for the most part. My boys are both potty trained and handle their business on their own (except for that unfortunate incident involving exploding poop and a boy standing to pee on my birthday......UGH). The big word in our house is fart. My boys are OBSESSED with the word and the action. They whisper to each other when one or the other farts and they laugh uncontrollably. My youngest hears the word fart everywhere. Say Dr. Farnsworth and he hears Dr. Fartsworth. Time to go to the farm becomes time to go to the fart. It's getting old. I know it's a stage and they will eventually outgrow it (please don't tell me otherwise...let me live in this fantasy). Sometimes I walk around just saying fart to prove a point it's not such a funny word.....I turn every other word into far.
Example: Hi farts, today I went to the fart and bought some farts. I drove the fart there and then took the farts up the farts and put them in the farts.
I don't think they get it. Oh well.

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